Saturday, February 5, 2011

My mom and emailing

I love my mom.

My mom, for the life of her, does not understand technology. My mother recently took a computer class for the older crowd to learn the basics of Word and the Intarwebz (or Internet). I am relatively certain that she only uses her 2 pointer fingers to type (I think it's possible that they actually teach them the Two Point method in the class), like this:

Upon completing this class, my sister and I set her up with an email account to stay in touch (my sister lives at home, so I'm uncertain if they email or not...possibly to brainstorm supper ideas, where my father is, what is on Mythbusters tonight, and whether or not the cats have been fed). So she now emails this:

This is a typical email from my mom which contains:
1) The fact that it's her at least twice, even though the email has been sent from HER email address (incidentally when she calls me, and I say 'Hi mom', she will always identify herself by saying "Hi, it's mom!")
2) All caps - It seems she has hit the Cap Lock button and is either unaware that she did this, or aware that she has and just needs larger letters in order to see. Everytime she says something, it's like she's yelling it. I LOVE YOU!
3) Clever usage of 'u' instead of 'you' (I am fairly certain that she picked this up by reading the banter on the website of her favorite baseball team, and is now attempting to show that she is in the technological know)
4) A comment about the weather. This is from her own views as to what the weather is outside. Once she has hit 'send' she will check the weather on a website in order to see if her speculations are accurate (it is, in fact, raining)
5) Lack of punctuation. I can understand, for some punctuation marks, that this may be tricky as she would need to use the 'shift' key. If the Two point method was taught in her computer class, this should not be an issue. However, if the One point method was taught, it would be virtually impossible to make a " or ?. That being said, there's no excuse for the lack of apostrophes or periods regardless of what method she uses.

My mom sends this to me at work. I, hoping to gain some parent points (these points can be used to: reduce the amount of phone calls per week from mom, increase the duration between trips home, or tip the favorite daughter scale in your favor which can be used to your benefit in many scenarios), email her back immediately:

Happily, I send my email off, and get back to work. A few seconds later I see a new message in my inbox. It's mom:

So, not only have I not gained any parent points, but I have seemingly lost points due to emailing her back during work...even though she began this email exchange. This continues for awhile, with my mom sending several more emails about the weather and what various people have posted on the baseball messageboards ("bluejaysfan359 really hates the Wells trade. Maybe John McDonald can play in the outfield?") . She finally leaves deciding that I should get back to work, and she should go check out the snow situation.

When I get home, I realize that not only did I lose points, but my balance outstanding is not enough to reduce the amount of phone calls either. The phone rings, and it's my mom.

Me: Hi mom.

Mom: Hello Becky?

Me: Hi mom. I live alone (she either thinks I have a secret girlfriend or a 900 number).

Mom: Oh, it's Mom.

Me: I know, Mom. I have call display.

Mom: Did you get my email?


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